8 steps to stop being needy in your relationship

Neediness results in getting less of what you want and makes you feel sad and angry at the same time. Needy people receive unkind words, behaviors that say’s "you are not so important to me”- and less and less affection as their relationship goes on. People who are not needy would end a relationship if they felt like that. But, a needy person wouldn't. People who have a needy partner can do whatever they want because although needy people complain, they don't leave. They remain in an abusive, unhealthy relationship and give away any kind of power they have in the relationship, which creates a power imbalance, with the needy person becoming a ‘door mat’ to her (or his) partner. If this has been your experience, don’t despair. It can be changed. 

Below are 8 exclusive steps you must take to break the cycle of neediness and make your relationship work.

Don’t be clingy: Give the person space. Respect their boundaries. No matter how close you are to another person, spending all your time with him or her is going to get overwhelming. Stay away for a while and start doing something on your own. Get busy. Do activities you like to do, and don't call or text for a while. Your relationship will definitely improve, because the old adage that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is factual.

Be independent: Being secure and non needy makes you more attractive. The more secure and non needy you genuinely are, the more attractive you become. Once you're really independent, you'll know it. You'll be confident enough to handle relationships without worrying excessively about what the other person thinks. Being too needy will only set you up for rejection. And that will lower your self esteem, creating deeper loneliness.

Have a network of friends: Focusing your life around just one person isn't good for your mental health or self esteem. Call other people in your group of friends instead of pouring all your energy into one person! Do anything that brings you joy and makes you happy. Avoid too much alone time. Get out and join your friends for a night out.  The more interests and hobbies you have the more appealing you're going to be and the less needy you will be.

Value yourself:  if you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in the self-esteem. You might be looking for someone to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. Sure, it's okay for someone to make you happy, but if they're your only source of happiness, you might become angry or sad whenever they're not around, and that can be very demanding for the other person. Prove to yourself that you don't need anyone by doing things by yourself, or being single, for some time, until you feel confident.

Don’t be too pushy or overly demanding: If you love someone, show them but show them lightly and don't force yourself on them because they could push you away.

Stay single for a while: Get absolutely comfortable with being alone first. Then your time will be more precious to you, and you'll be able to see the relationship more objectively. Many people remain single and still enjoy their life and are just as happy as people in a relationship. When you realize that relationship is a want, not a need, then you can survive without it.

Love yourself: self love is very much indispensable if you are to enjoy a healthy relationship. If you haven’t accepted yourself completely it would be a wild goose chase accepting another. So look within, get to know yourself better. Label and master your feelings, accept your strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has got them.

Don’t be in a hurry for gratification: Being aggressive early is a big turn-off. Learn to pace yourself and always take small steps in the beginning. If you want a long term relationship, being in a rush could work against you. You might just be wasting your precious time in life by being needy. Learn self-control. You can do it.

 Realize some people are just not nice. Maybe it’s not you, it's them. Find new friends. Love and respect yourself and be confident. if you implement these steps, the love of your life will arrive on your doorstep before you know it. Just be patient and positive.